Unclean
by Speckly
Summary: More delicious angst vignette, this time with everyone's favorite: Harmoniashipping. N reflects on the latest abuse whilst wondering if he'll ever be 'clean' again.


The spray of the water brought stinging pleasure-pain. Steam rose around him, fogging not just the shower but the entire bathroom, coating every reflective surface in a mist that kept his reflection mercifully hidden. Right now... he didn't want to see himself. Frantic fingers slid over a bar of soap with which he was in the midst of scouring every inch of his body, trying to clean away the dirt. The taint. The filth. Nothing that he did could wash away the feeling of shame, though...

_N bit back a cry as he was thrust brutally to the wall. He didn't fight back. He didn't try to squirm away. His punishment would only worsen if he tried. Ghetsis had every logical reason to be angry with him. The hands ripping his clothes away were just. It didn't matter that he had long ago come to see this as disgusting. Humiliation was a disciplinary measure, just like anything else. It was his own fault. He just had to learn. _

"_Do you understand what you did?"echoed his father's voice, booming in the small confines of the bathroom his son had stupidly tried to hide himself in._

"_I... Tried to go outside," N croaked, screwing his eyes shut and pressing back against the wall. One claw-like hand had wound its talons in his hair, dragging him down onto his knees. The other was busy undoing a button scant inches from his face. This would be bad._

"_Exactly. Haven't I spent your whole life warning you about people? Don't your precious little pokemon tell you how twisted, vile, evil they are? Yet you would disregard all the safety measures we've put in place for you here. It's disrespectful. It's dangerous. Do I have to teach you again? Do I?"_

He shuddered, the soap slipping from his hand and landing with a wet PLOP in the suds built up on the floor. There just wasn't water hot enough. He fumbled for the handle and cut the cold entirely so that a searing barrage of droplets began to fall upon him like hot stones... it still wasn't enough. One hand groped for the small plastic shelf where his shampoo bottle sat. Though the water had already washed away the stickiness clinging to his hair, he wouldn't be satisfied until he was sure every miniscule fleck was gone. Half the bottle was promptly poured over long, soaked green tresses.

Great frothing clusters of bubbles dripped to the floor of the shower, stinging in eyes that were already tear-filled. His lips parted slightly to breathe, and he tasted shampoo a moment later. It was better than the lingering taste of the sage in his mouth. He worked his fingers into his own tangled mane, gently grazing over the tender area where it had been yanked to force him down, finger-combing the knots away as best he could.

Ghetsis was just trying to protect him, he reminded himself, by showing him the cruelties that humans inflicted on one another. He had to stop doubting. He had to believe in what his father said. It wasn't that he had wanted to leave, though... well.. not really.

A pidove had flown over the fence that afternoon. Normally pokemon avoided this place unless they were brought inside by members of Team Plasma. Somehow it had gotten in anyway... and he had played with it.

It had said things that confused him.

He had just wanted to know what kind of people the little bird pokemon had met that it didn't despise them like the rest of his friends...

He rinsed out the soap in his hair and leaned against the wall, letting the water run over his reddened skin. It had lost much of its scorching edge already. He would probably linger until he shivered from the cold, though... It was better than walking out and facing the reality of—

—_that throbbing length, forced between his lips. Every instinct told N to do something to stop this sickening display. They did every time. He had made the mistake of retaliating once, and it would never happen again. He sucked in shaking breaths through his nose and tried to imagine he was somewhere else as a quick thrust made it feel like he'd swallowed fire. His gag reflex was long gone, thankfully. Being practiced didn't make this any easier or any less sickening to him. The only option left was to try and please the sage quickly so this would be done, so with his eyes closed with resolve he let his tongue begin to work..._

N spat into the froth on the floor, glaring down at the bubbles lazily swirling like puffy clouds around the drain. He had to stop doubting... Gingerly, the boy kneeled down and retrieved the lost soap from under the bubbles, intent on taking advantage of the last of the hot water.

By now he was old enough to know there was something wrong with his father's favorite way of 'disciplining' him. He was just powerless to stop it once he had earned his punishment...

The rapidly-cooling water ran over his body as he continued to try and somehow make his tainted self clean again. The more he thought, the more he wanted to be washed away as well, away from people. Away from the castle. Away from Ghetsis and all the molestation. N watched the swirling bubbles as they slipped into the darkness that would carry them far beyond the walls of his prison.

He had never felt more jealous.


End file.
